i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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