i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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