Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
operation have a gay friend backfired
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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