Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
