he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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