Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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