chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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