wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
