Define "chronic" masturbator.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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