Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it hurts more in the daytime
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This baby is an asshole
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
