I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's Friday. Sex?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
