he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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