i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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