I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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