i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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