just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
