you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
