I think my fart just growled at me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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