But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
