I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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