I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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