i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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