I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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