Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
