Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
