if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
