Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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