Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
and you fell through a lawn chair
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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