I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
