my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
