Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
