i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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