are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
