it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
