Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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