Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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