i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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