i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
where am i from again
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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