she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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