he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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