I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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