thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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