Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
