In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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