so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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