i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
