Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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