This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just had sex on a roof
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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