I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
