nutella sex= disaster
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
