remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
