Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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