Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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