the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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