hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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