you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
