either way he was missing a nipple.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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