operation harelip BJ is a go
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
