then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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