dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
