i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I supernannyed him into submission
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
