i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
