ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
