I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
