i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
