I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize