Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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