Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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