He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
